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Worthy

Mar 18, 2024
Where do I even start?

 I took a hobby and built it into a successful and thriving business that fed my soul, and many others for 17 years. Last year I took an epic adventure in New Zealand with my husband and kids. We rented a Range Rover Defender with two roof top tents and hit the glorious roads of the South Island. Our daughter and her partner had created a 16-day road trip itinerary that took us from Queenstown down to Invercargill, the southernmost city on the South Island to Kaikoura. The five of us lived side by side (literally), all while experiencing places high in the air like Fox Glacier and low underground in the Clifden Caves. We swam in the Tasman Sea and explored the miracles of Milford Sound. We stood on the famous spherical Moeraki Boulders and my daughter taught me how to surf. I could go on as it truly was a trip of a lifetime.  

Life is such an incredible gift and upon returning home I just knew deep in my soul that I wanted more out of my life. As blessed as I am to go to work every day doing what I loved, I felt a sort of calling. Fast forward a few months and I am staring 55 in the face. In the 1980’s the concept of “Freedom 55” was born, does anyone remember? The goal was to retire and be financially set at the age of 55. Well for me, Freedom 55 means something totally different. I want to be free to see what else is out there for me to explore. I stepped out of my comfort zone, closed my business and stepped into freedom. 

Freedom is a powerful word with many meanings. Freedom can lead you away from yourself or to yourself. I am finding you need to have some real strength within you to control freedom. I made this huge decision in my life, and I don’t want to waste it, but I will be honest with you, I don’t always feel worthy of this freedom. I am currently reading Jamie Kern Lima’s book Worthy and this morning I turned the page to Chapter 19 titled Transformations. In this chapter she talks about the journey of transformation of the caterpillar to the butterfly…. metamorphosis. She explained something I did not know that during metamorphosis the caterpillar completely dissolves into liquid inside the cocoon. It eventually develops and transforms. Its wings take shape, and it emerges through the cocoon. It emerges from the cocoon with wet wings, unable to fly. It's tremendously vulnerable and it does what it needs to survive. If it makes it through, and its wings dry and it spreads them and they start to flap, it can fly away to its future. 

I think I am going through a transformation in life. I remember turning 50 and my husband and I were empty nesters. I remember thinking I was going to write a book called “WTF Happens after 50”! Today maybe my book should be called “Freedom 55 or Midlife Crisis”?   

In the book From Strength to Strength by Arthur Brooks, chapter 7 is titled Starting your Vanaprastha. He talks about the ancient Indian teaching that a proper life must be lived in four stages- these are the ashramas. Ideally, ashramas last twenty-five years each. I had never heard of this before but found it very interesting and reassuring that what I am going through and maybe you too, is normal. I am entering into the third stage of life, the Vanaprastha, which comes from Sanskrit words meaning “retiring” and “into the forest”. This is the stage you begin to pull back from your old personal duties, step away from your four walls and enter into the forest or garden of life. Realizing your own mortality, it is time to look inward, to have faith and to connect with the world around you. This is how I interpret it anyway. It is a transformation similar to the butterfly, not easy but worth it.  

When life gets you down and things get difficult remember that so often our greatest victories come after our most difficult seasons of transformation, and you are worthy of the journey.  

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